Social networks: Facts of life

• Sites like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have privacy controls.
• Some sites require children to be older than 13 to have a profile, but younger children set up accounts anyway.
• Social networks keep children connected to friends and provide a space for self-expression.
• There are no guarantees of privacy (even with settings) since anything can be cut, pasted and sent.
• Inappropriate pictures, posts or messages can damage reputations.
• Children can 'tag' (or identify) their friends, which can violate privacy.

It's all about hanging out with friends - online

It’s 8:30 on a school night - do you know where your child is? Of course, he’s at his computer, but if he’s like most children, he’s on a social networking site. What’s he doing? It’s a different world, and we’ll help you understand (instead of worry about) where your children are hanging out.

Social networks are places where children hang out together online. The sites work pretty simply: Children who sign up get a profile to post pictures of themselves, artwork and links to songs; write about what they enjoy; and connect with friends. They’ve become extensions of children’s social lives. Social networks are major communication hubs, giving children ways to use instant messaging, connect with one another and write on walls to share public and private comments. Social networks also have games, quizzes and applications that let people hug someone or have a beer with friends.

Why privacy controls matter

Unless your child uses privacy controls, everything he says about himself in pictures or words will be available for the world to see - by strangers, university admissions staff, even potential employers. Children are savvy enough to post things, but not always mature enough to understand the consequences of doing it.

Even if your children think they have figured out their privacy controls, there are ways to get into people’s pages. That’s why revealing personal information is worrisome.

Parental tips for young children

• Stick with age-appropriate sites. For children of 5 to 8, there are sites with strong safety features, like CBeebies, that help children play without risking inappropriate content or contact.

Parental tips for primary- and middle-school children

• Check your browser histories. Facebook and MySpace won't let children have sites if they are under 13. But children simply lie. If you see either site, assume your children have an account.
• Tell your children to think before posting. Remind them that everything can be seen by a vast audience (otherwise known as friends of friends of friends). It's a good idea for parents to have access to their primary- and middle-school children's pages, to be sure that what they're posting is appropriate. Parents can help keep them from doing something they may regret.
• Set their privacy settings. They aren’t foolproof, but they’re important. Show them where the privacy settings are.
• Set rules for what is and isn’t appropriate to communicate, play and post online. Posts with drug taking, drinking, or sexual posing or activity will come back to haunt them.
• Make kindness count. Lots of sites have anonymous applications like 'bathroom wall' or 'honesty boxes' for people to tell their friends what they think of them. If your children wouldn't say it to someone's face, they shouldn't post it.
• Get an account for yourself. See what children can and can't do.

Parental tips for secondary-school children

• Talk about the nature of their digital world. Remind them that anyone can see what’s on their pages - even if they think no-one will. Potential employers and university admissions staff can easily find these sites. Ask your teenagers to think about who might see their pages and how they might interpret the posts or photos.
• Let them know that anything they create or communicate can be cut, altered, pasted and sent around. Once they put something on their pages, it’s out of their control and can be taken out of context and used to hurt them or someone else. This includes talk and photos of sex, drugs and alcohol. Tell them that online stuff can last forever. If they wouldn't put something on the wall at school, they shouldn’t post it on their pages.
• Remind them to be positive in what they say online. If they wouldn’t want someone saying it them, they shouldn’t say it to someone else.
• Meet someone, if they must, in a public place, with a friend or friends. We would all like to think that children wouldn’t meet strangers - but sometimes they do. Stress that this is not a safe or clever idea.
• Watch the clock. Social network sites can be real time-eaters. Hours can escape - which isn't great for homework.

© Common Sense Media